The story of Mrs. Dalloway is that of repression, both economically and sexually. Her life story is based around her decision to marry Mr. Dalloway rather than pursuing a life with Peter or Sally, her two previous love interests. She marries Mr. Dalloway becasue he makes her feel safe. She refers to Richard as being the foundation of her life signaling the declining importance of her own presence. The sad affairs of Mrs. Dalloway’s life are reflective of her decision to marry Richard. At the age of 52, after spending more than half her life with Richard, Mrs Dalloway wonders whether she made the right decision to marry him. This question in and of itself sets the depressive and disconsolate tone for the novel. Mrs. Dalloway states several times in the book that she has lived her life in a way that fulfills the expectations of other people, not necessarily the expectations that she had for herself as a young woman. She could have chosen to pursue a life with Sally and perhaps would have been much more happier, but instead she chose a life of security and dependability, which does not automatically equate to happiness. Mrs. Dalloway lives a depressing and meaningless life as is clearly visible in her discontent over her age, her lack of communication with her husband, and her false sense of what happiness is. Mrs. Dalloway looks for happiness by surrounding herself with flowers and organizing trivial parties, however true happiness is not something that one looks for. It is always present within our relationships with our relatives, loved ones, friends and other human beings.
In order to share with you all my understanding of Mrs. Dalloway’s character, I have decided to write a poem reflecting my judgement of her life. The poem is written in Mrs. Dalloway’s voice, but it reflects my opinion. This is what i think Mrs. Dalloway thinks of herself and her life with Richard. In the poem, I have portrayed the character of Richard as that of a heartless and cruel man because to me he signifies the presence of patriarchy and male domination. Mrs. Dalloway is not happy because she married Richard who was supposedly going to keep her happy and safe. But we see that, as Mr. and Mrs. Dalloway’s relationship ages, it loses the communication aspect found in most other healthy relationships. Richard is a traitor for not giving Mrs. Dalloway the true happiness that she is entitled to from their relationship together. If he had loved and cared for her to the fullest, she would not be putting herself on trial everyday wondering whether she made the right decision to marry him. We see in the novel that Mrs. Dalloway even begins to blame herself for their failing relationship. She fears that she has failed Richard. For Mrs. Dalloway, her marriage is her primary responsibility, but for Richard, it is just a side factor, secondary to his other very important life that he leads as a politician.
Often, in my moment of loneliness, I contemplate
Of the days gone by, the price so high
Why??? I continuously ask myself
Often, in my moment of loneliness, I try to relate
To a callous…heartless…cruel creature.
To protect myself, I lie
Mournful at my very own existence
Or shall I say the existence of it in me.
For years I have detested the mere sight of myself
But every thing is so convenient for you….Is it not?
And it gets even better as time loses its significance
If I could only re live that moment in time.
If time would just spry backwards
At least I would be alert to your honest character
Youth, how I long for you to return
My ears plead to experience again
The sound of my blaring laughter
Day after day, I put myself on trial
I plead not guilty, your honor
To the charges I have brought against my own self.
I am the exclusive witness, the one and only
The prosecution’s questions pierce my soul
Such as an arrow pierces through a pigeon’s heart.
These questions are my own creation that I attend to everyday
Why are they so complex, so difficult to answer?
I yell for defense….why don’t you object.
Defense replies with a soft, mocking utter
I have nothing to say your honor
The judge pronounces me guilty of the crime
And sentences me to a life of pretence
Day after day, I must deceit myself
Often in my moment of loneliness, I try to comprehend
The days gone by, the price so high
Why??? I continuously ask myself
